Still Pluggin' Away

We're still neck deep in homeschool, in case anyone was wondering.  It's going pretty well, I suppose.  My kids know all about viscosity, so I don't know what else the state could ask of me.  I haven't really figured out how a knowledge of viscosity can be applied to real life just yet, but Cameron and Ethan can sit down to breakfast and say, "Mom, I prefer my maple syrup with a slightly lower viscosity, so could you microwave it for me, please?"  And one of them did say that, so they sound smart, if nothing else.

Today we did a science experiment called The Incredible Can Crusher!  We crushed a can using nothing but air and a little cold water.  The sound of a gunshot was involved, so it was a huge success, of course.  When in doubt - loud noises are popular with boys.

Cameron and Ethan are learning to play the piano, courtesy of Grandma.  Just today Cameron mastered Ode To Joy - and after only six lessons, too!  Here's a little video of their recital, which took place after four lessons.  (My mom requested the footage, so if you're not my mom, don't feel obligated to watch. - Mom, you have to because it took me six years to download the 70 second reel.)

Reading, math, language arts, PE, and spelling are all coming along nicely, too.  And after seven months of this, I can say that I am very grateful for public schools.  Cause dang.  I'm beat.

Gratitude Journal

In honor of Thanksgiving, my kids are keeping Gratitude Journals as part of their homeschooling.  They have to write a minimum of five sentences every day about something they are thankful for.  Allow me to share Ethan's entry from two days ago:

"I am grateful for animals.  They can help make food.  Meat and steak.  And bacon.  And pork."

Ahem.

The kid likes animals.  And we need to work on our definition of a complete sentence. But I'm with him on the steak and bacon. Can't wait to see what he's grateful for during the rest of the month.

All The Ways You Might Die

This week in homeschool, my kids and I are learning about sea life.  Specifically, fish.  I went to the library and checked out a whole heap of books on fish, sharks, giant squid, piranhas...everything.  And one of those books is simply a gem!  Or, rather, one page of the book is a gem.  Literally priceless.  Allow me to share an excerpt:

     "Your chances of being killed by a shark are very, very small.  You stand a better chance of winning the lottery, being struck by lightning, or dying from a bee sting than being attacked and killed by a shark.

     You will more likely die of an illness, being in a car accident, drowning, eating food with harmful germs, or being shot!  About 1,000 times more people die every year from accidents with guns in the Unites States alone than from shark attacks worldwide.

     Count all the people killed in all shark attacks.  The total doesn't come close to the number of people who are killed by each other."

Taken from Killer Sharks, Killer People an Imagination Library Series book, (emphasis added).

My kids are not wimps.  They can handle gruesome.  They can handle morbid, scary, frightening, and all kinds of horror.  But this??  This book is telling my kids seven ways in which it seems they are likely to die, and they are all pretty awful.

And seriously?  Being shot?  Did we really need to include that, people? 

But now that I'm thinking about it, Dr. Suess could probably have worked wonders with this topic.  I feel a future blog post being developed...

Slurred Title of Some Sort

I'm typing with my eyes closed because it's so much easier and more relaxing this way. Eyelids...so...heavy...

Seriously though, this homeschool thing is sucking the life out of me. Maybe I just need to adjust to it, but at this rate I'm going to be asleep by 8:00 PM every night and be completely unconscious all weekend long.

There are plus sides though.

Brace yourself.

I have been awake, showered, and dressed well before 9:00 AM all week long.

Shocking, no? That hasn't happened two days in a row since I was 20.

Also, the kids don't hate me. I was kind of expecting a little bit of a rebellion, but so far so good.

Possibly the worst change though, since this week began, has been my blog comments. So far I've been keeping my own blog alive by scrounging around my drafts pile, but all of y'alls blogs have gotten to see a little more color from me.

You see, by the time I get around to reading everyone's blogs, it's late and I'm wasted from going non-stop all day. That means I have no energy to hit my self-censor button.

I vaguely remember leaving a comment containing at least one cuss word on someone's blog - no idea who's it was, and I know I made comments about "dirty" fruit on Bossy Betty's blog.

In all honesty, those comments were likely more of my true self than anything I usually say, but I try to keep it reigned in when I'm completely coherent.

So if you've gotten an odd, offensive, or off-color comment from me - you have my apologies. I'll try to take a nap before I respond from now on.

Homeskool Curriculum

I know this will make something like three posts today, but I've been slaving over this homeschool schedule, and I've never done it before, so it's a little intimidating. I wanted to share with you what I've got so far and get your feedback. Here's our first week's schedule:


Daily Activities:

Pledge of Allegiance - Or sing the theme song to South Park. We'll just pick whichever one we're feeling most loyal to at the time.

Math - We'll be spending a lot of time on story problems. For example, "If there are 24 cans of Dr. Pepper in the fridge at the start of the day and by the time Daddy comes home from work there is no more Vicoden left in the medicine cabinet, how long will Mommy be in re-hab?" Real-life stuff like that is important.

Reading time! - Before you know it, my kids will have tackled Moby Dick and they will tout their superior intelligence to every adult and peon child they meet. I can't wait for my kids to be better than everyone else's!

Lunch - Making the kids cook for me is a life skill.

P.E. - We're just going to start counting their punishments as school time. The boys run too many laps around the house and do way too many push-ups and wall squats to not be counting those hours as part of our curriculum. And no one really needs to know how to play badminton. We're good.

Our first week of variable activities will be as follows:

Science - We'll start by observing the progression of milk to cottage cheese when left in a sippy cup underneath a car seat. That'll take about two days.

After that, we'll move on to a study of the effects of prolonged breastfeeding on six year olds. I'm sure I'll be able to find a Dr. Phil or some You Tube videos dealing with this subject.

We'll follow that theme with a field trip to the farm, where we will learn how to milk a cow. And how to tell the difference between a dairy cow and a bull. I am sticking with this dairy theme for science because it ties into our first health unit...

Health - We'll be learning about the four food groups. Chocolate, ice cream, potato chips, and Soda Pop. Each child will be tested on his knowledge by having to put together an entire day's worth of meals using nothing outside these food groups.

And let's not forget -

The Arts - We'll do all kinds of things, like dress up as people from the bible and act out everything from pillars of salt to lion's dens. Walking on water might be a little out of our league. But I think we'll make our own costumes out of dryer lint and toilet paper. We'll also sing songs about loving our neighbors, and learn to play instruments - like the kazoo.

That's what I have so far. I think it's a good start.

I hope your kids don't feel too bad about their crappy public education.

On Globes And Pencil Sharpeners

I am homeschooling my kids this year.

I am going to be the hottest girl in their class.

That's a first for me.

Homeschool is a hugely intimidating task. I not only have to educate my children, but I have to do it better than a public school would, or I get a big FAILURE stamp on my forehead. I have to make it fun, and try not to turn them into social misfits. You know - the kind of kid who can't interact with his peers because he's been spending all his time making macaroni art and breastfeeding.

Thank goodness I'm all dried up, huh?

So, in a rather unrelated event, CSN stores sent me a gift certificate to use in any of their 200+ stores, and so I picked out a few tools to use in our homeschool endeavors.

They shipped me an electric pencil sharpener and a globe, per my request.

I picked the pencil sharpener because there is nothing I hate more than a stupid hand crank sharpener that will only shave half the pencil and makes me use bad words in front of my impressionable kids.



Unfortunately, the electric one I picked out will not shave either half of my pencil. A week after this one came in the mail, I went out and bought a dollar pencil sharpener from Wal-Mart. It's not perfect either, but it comes a lot closer.

I'm not going to give up though. You get what you pay for, really. (This was a freebie for me, so no harm done.) I think next time I'll go with the X-ACTO brand.

The globe that I ordered was better. It spins, it correctly labeled all the oceans, etc. It's an inexpensive globe that gets the job done. I've used it in a couple of quick, impromptu lessons, and I was satisfied. Mostly the kids and I sit around the breakfast table, chomping on our cereal and taking turns spinning the globe, closing our eyes, saying, "I'm going to live in..." and then slamming our finger down on the spinning orb to make it stop on the location of our future homes. I need to learn to swim, by the way. We kinda love this globe - best toy ever.




I don't think the globe would fare well in a fall to the floor, or if it were taken hostage by my one-year-old, but I don't have plans to let that happen to our educational breakfast entertainment. As long as we're careful with it, this globe should last us as long as we need it. I would definitely buy it again, if I were made to do so with my own money.

That pencil sharpener can go to hell, though.

(In case you couldn't tell, this post is a review for products that I received for free from CSN Stores in return for posting my honest feedback and links to their website. I was not compensated in any other way, and I think it's obvious that my opinions are genuine.)