A Lesson About Mammals

Both of my sisters recently told me that I need to watch a documentary called "Babies".  They made it sound awfully intriguing, so I decided to give it a whirl.  

It happens to be one of the movies you can stream from Netflix, so I was sitting at my computer completely dumbstruck by the way babies are raised in different cultures, when my seven year old son, Ethan, came into the room.

I hit the pause button on that movie so fast, it was like lightning.  Ninja skills with the mouse kind of speed.

Why?  Because I was watching a documentary that showed bare-chested African women, that's why.

My sons have never seen a bare-chested woman of any race, and I wasn't sure if this film was how I wanted them to first encounter that, or if they are even ready to encounter such realities.  I remember the first time I saw a National Geographic magazine, and I recall with perfect clarity the feeling of regret over the loss of my innocence.  So I shewed him away.

I know that it's the culture in many parts of the world to go without much clothing, and I know that breastfeeding is natural...  But we're talking about a seven year old boy and a whole bunch of boobies.

It took me about three days to finish watching this film, and during the last twenty minutes or so, both of my older boys came in to my room again, wanting to know what I was watching.  I gave it about twenty seconds of thought and decided that if I prepared them, they would be fine.

"Boys", I said, "this is a movie about four real life babies who are growing up in different countries around the world, and it shows naked women.   If that's something you're OK with seeing, then you can watch this with me.  If you don't want to see that, then you should go find something else to do."

They both said they didn't mind, (no shock there), so I hit the play button and away we went.

Not too far into it, the African woman is walking along a road with her small son, and he begins to cry, so she bends down and offers him her breast for a drink.  Ethan scrunched his eyebrows up and said, "Is that a bottle or something?"

How did my children get this far into life without knowing about breastfeeding?  I never imagined they were so sheltered.  They've seen people doing it, but I guess they didn't know exactly what was going on.

I explained what it was to Ethan and Cameron, and you would not believe the shock.  I asked them what they knew about mammals, and they told me all the basics - they give birth to live young, they have hair, etc...  I said, "Yes -- and they feed their young with milk they make from their bodies."  And then I uttered the words, "We are mammals."

Cameron immediately bolted from the room, and Ethan screamed and lifted up his shirt to inspect his chest.  "Are you telling me I'm going to grow those things??"

I was laughing so hard I had to end the lesson there.  Imagine their horror if they knew that they were both breast-fed for the first few weeks of their lives. 

Premiere of Friday Flick Picks! (And a Prize!)

*CONTEST CLOSED*

Some of my favorite childhood memories are of watching movies with my family; seeing a scary naked lady in The Shining, watching Aladdin at the theater on Christmas Eve, and only being allowed to watch Bram Stoker's Dracula with a paper sack at the ready to cover my head with during the orgy scenes. (Kinda pointless after seeing the scary naked lady when I was six, right?)

So I've thought about my love of movies, (not to be confused with a love for Hollywood), and I decided I wanted to feature reviews here on my blog. Just for fun. And more importantly, to give us all ideas of what to fill our Netflix queues with, what to track down at a Redbox, or what to buy for 95% off at a Blockbuster going out of business sale.

Enter David, who many of you may remember for his snarky name suggestions for my husband's '63 Volkswagen. He's a real movie buff. Our tastes differ sometimes, but it's possible he's seen more movies than I have, and that's impressive. David is also an engaging writer. So I asked him to do a weekly movie review here on the Enchilada. He'll tackle new releases, a few good oldies, and hopefully, an occasional chick flick, because his wife would probably appreciate that.

So without further ado, I bring you David, The Flick Picker. *And be sure to read all the way to the end of the post, where you'll find out how you can win a movie prize!*

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Hello, I am David Kestner ..... and I am addicted to movies. I have found that confession is good for the soul, and so I am confessing my addiction.......

If only there was a 12 step program for this!!! It would probably help my marriage!

I have been asked by Bethany at Organic Enchilada to make a regular post on her blog giving some no-nonsense, sometimes edgy, sarcastic opinions of some of the entertainment options we have today. I guess it is a good thing I am a no-nonsense, edgy, sarcastic opinion giver. Growing up the eldest of 6 children is my training!

Today's post at "The Flick Picker" is going to be a top movies post of all time without any real in-depth critique. In future posts, I will give my honest opinions of the Movie / TV offerings that are available these days. I will range my approach from movies that are "old" to the most current flicks I can afford to see in the theater.

As I bring you this "Greatest Hits" list, please read with the understanding that this is "This Guy's" opinion, so if you don't like it, Bite Me!

In no particular order or genre I present to you:

THE LIST

Tombstone - circa 1993.

Starring Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliot, Bill Paxton, Dana Delaney. Maybe my all time favorite movie. Rated R for violence, and some language. I insist that if this movie were released today, it would have received a PG-13 rating. Great story, great characters. A very fun movie. I own it on both VHS, DVD and Director's Cut DVD. (See, I am a fan!)

A Few Good Men - circa 1992

Starring Tom Cruise, Jason Pollack, Jack Nicholson, Demi Moore, Kiefer Sutherland, Kevin Bacon and more..... Rated R for language, not for what I was expecting as a young man in the theater - to see a nude sex scene between Tom & Demi.... More than I would have liked F-bombs, but a very great story line with excellent character acting. If language offends you, I suggest watching this movie on a network showing.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off - circa 1986

Staring Mathew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara, Jennifer Grey and more.... Rated PG. My opinion; rougher language and innuendo than the above mentioned R rated movies... A story about a High School Senior and friends playing hookie from school. Lots of comic situations and some very funny interactions between the cast.

The Star Wars Saga - circa 1977 - 2004

I needn't list the actors - Rated PG / PG13 I shouldn't need to discuss the Saga at all. The first 3 were trend setters - period! The last three built on CGG and were actually fun to watch. I wasn't there in line dressed like a "Jedi" for any of the premieres, but I saw all but the first movie (A New Hope) on opening day. Everyone should own these on DVD.

The Indiana Jones Collection - circa 1981 - 2008

Starring Harrison Ford and others. Rated PG / PG 13 I liked all of them - the most recent one included! Just fun adventure and great - ahead of their time special effects.

Lord of the Rings Trilogy - circa 2001 - 2003

Starring Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Liv Tyler, and more... Rated PG-13 for violence. A great adaptation of the book series of the same name. Having read all of the books numerous times, I will say that this was about as well done "Book to Movie" series I have ever seen! My fantasy visions were captured on film. A very good job by Peter Jackson!

Avatar - circa 2009

Directed by James Cameron - Rated PG-13. I liked this "short on plot and story line" movie a lot, due to the new use of CG. Once again, James Cameron took us to a whole new, believable world - much like his earlier Titanic. A very gifted director.

Here's my shocker....

A River Runs Through It - circa 1992

Rated PG. Directed by Robert Redford, Starring Craig Sheffer, Brad Pitt, Tom Skerritt. This was a very well done movie with no real "star" actors. One of Brad Pitt's first, and an early directing effort by Robert Redford. The setting and story line were very believable and really sucked you into the film.

Well, due to time and space, I will leave you with this list for now. Know that my next posts will be more than a list of a 40-something's view of what a good film is.

Until next time, plant your butt in a chair, stuff your mouth with popcorn, and enjoy a good movie!

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Thanks, David! I can't wait to see what film you choose to tackle next week! And how much grief would I get for admitting that I still haven't seen Avatar? Just wondering.

Alrighty, now for the prize!

Erica Moore is a very talented woman with a brand-spanking-new Etsy shop! She has generously offered to award one of you with this wicked-awesome Movie Night Basket!

Just think - you can munch on tasty goodies while you watch one of The Flick Picker's film choices!

So how do you win this most awesome prize? (That sounded like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, did it not?) It's simple. All you have to do is visit Erica's shop by clicking right here, find one of her products that you'd like to have or give as a gift, then come back here and tell us in the comments section which item you loved. (Mandatory for entry.) Easy, right?

If you'd like a bonus entry, you can grab The Flick Picker's button from my sidebar, (the one with the pretty, flashing lights), and paste it on your blog. Then come back here and leave another comment saying "Button". If you aren't the button grabbing type, you can click over to David's blog, and follow him. Then, of course, you would come back and leave a comment saying "Follow" instead of "Button".

Want just one more bonus entry? Tweet, blog, or Facebook about this giveaway, then come back and tell us what you did in a comment. Erica would love our support as she gets her shop up and running, so you could even do this if you don't want to enter the contest. Just sayin'. Pay it forward, guys.

So that's it! Up to three entries, and you could be the lucky winner of some tasty movie snacks and reusable popcorn tubs! Erica will also gift a Movie Night magnet to the first twenty people who leave a comment! How cool is that? A winner for the Movie Night Basket will be chosen on Sunday 8/8/10 at 5:00 PM MST using random.org. Continental U.S. only, must be 18 or older to enter.

Be sure to check back for our winner and for next week's Flick Pick!

Good Ol' Media Influence

Cameron has been calling me a fart sniffer for days.  You let the kids watch The Sandlot once or twice and suddenly they think it's funny to tell each other they are ugly as a dog's butt, and they all laugh hysterically about it.  It's okay, he can keep calling me a fart sniffer, because I have this picture to show his girlfriend when he's sixteen:

My boys have picked up some interesting phrases from all kinds of movies and TV shows, and I can't say that I'm fond of all of them.  However, Drew is going to see his first movie in a real-live theater this afternoon, (at the $2 theater so that if he isn't on his best behavior we can leave and not feel like we wasted a small fortune), and because it's his first theater movie, I am hoping for a lot of potty humor.  I want those chipmunks to belch and break wind and squeak all kinds of ridiculous words so that Drew has the time of his life.   There is nothing better than listening to that kid giggle.  Makes my world.

Reflections on New Moon

A recap of my emotions while I watched New Moon...

When Bella asked Edward to kiss her for her birthday I almost wet myself.  That seductive eyebrow raise and slight shake of the head.  Too much!  I am not one for rewinding a movie and watching funny parts again because the humor is gone when you beat the dead horse, but this time was a worthy exception.  Andrew missed it, so how could I not go back and show it to him? 

What is up with Jasper's hair?  My grandmother sports the same style.  It works for her because she's a woman over fifty. 

Oh, the painful acting.  Taylor Lautner was the only one who seemed to know what he was doing.  I wonder if he wishes he weren't affiliated with Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.  The things people will do for fame.

Kristen Stewart was so twitchy!  He speech and her movements.  I thought pot was supposed to mellow people out?  My favorite was when she grabs her hair while Edward is being punished by the Volturi for taking his shirt off and she screams "NO!".  It was really awkward.

That is why Edward was getting his fanny kicked, right?  For making us all look at his unsightly chest?  It made me a little queasy.

Near the end when Alice is sharing her vision of the future with Aro, was it?,  I just think it's so great that we get to see Bella and Edward running through the forest.  When in doubt, do a cheesy slo-mo scene, right? 

Kristen and Robert need to work on their enunciation.  Mumbling is not good acting.  And that's just step one.

I would love to hear the inner thoughts of Stephanie Meyer as she watches these people massacre her story.  That would be good entertainment.

I really did have fun watching this movie.  Not in the way it was intended to be enjoyed, I'm sure, but not a complete waste of time either.  Mystery Science Theater could really turn this film into a masterpiece.

Commercializing Love

The first time I ever celebrated a Valentines Day with a significant other was when I had just started to date Andrew. He was a senior in high school and I was a sophomore. I took the opportunity to profess my love for Andrew by hiring a female barbershop quartet to serenade him in the middle of his CWP class. I don't know that I've ever seen Andrew as mortified as he was on that occasion. I took pictures so that we could look back on that in fifty years and try to remember who those people were. The women were all over forty, they wore sparkly red jumpsuits, and they presented Andrew with a single red rose when they were finished humiliating him. Priceless.

The first year that Andrew and I celebrated a Valentines Day as a married couple, I gave him a Portland Trailblazers jersey. He doesn't wear it very often anymore, but he refuses to let me cart it off to Goodwill. I'd like to think that it's because he's emotionally attached to it, but I know better.

This year I am giving Andrew a gift certificate to Massage Envy. He's been talking about getting a massage for years, and I am finally giving in because I realize that while I have no desire to let a stranger rub me down, he does. I hope he gets a man masseuse.

I have always been a pain in Andrew's rear when it comes to gifts. My feeling is that if he's going to spend some money on me, he shouldn't buy something that will die. So flowers are out. I like flowers and all, but they are predictable and expensive and I'd rather see some growing in my yard than withering in a vase. (But only if someone else planted them in my yard, because I hate gardening.) Candy is a useless gift, because at any given time, I likely have a stash of chocolate and other sweets hidden in the cupboard.

This year I decided to give Andrew a hand with the process and just get myself a gift. So last night I signed myself up for Netflix on the computer, and then Andrew looked over at me from his recliner where he was watching ESPN, and said, "Happy Valentines Day!" I told him thank you for his thoughtful gift and then filled my movie queue with flicks that I want. You see, this is only a gift for me, so only I get to chose the movies. The power is totally going to my head.

First up: Heart and Souls, Signs (to watch with the kids), Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. I can't wait to check the mail tomorrow!

Addicted to Completion

Last night I finally watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. That's the one with the baby who's born old and ages backwards into youth while everyone around him grows older.

Throughout the entire movie I could feel myself regrettably aging. There goes another minute that I could have been reading or doing the dishes...

There were a few parts of the film that I enjoyed. The concept was good. It simply drug on forever in mind-numbing character development, I guess you could call it. Benjamin was always meeting new people, having rather ho-hum experiences with them, learning nothing profound, and moving on to the next "almost life lesson". Benjamin seemed to have one emotion, and one emotion only: passive acceptance. Everything that happened to him could be followed by the words, "Oh, well that was interesting. Have I had a nap yet today?" I would have loved to see him get agitated or blissfully happy or even surprised about something. One would think that suffering from arthritis at the age of six would validate some angry or even slightly unpleasant behavior - but apparently it does not. I didn't really care about what happened to the characters because they didn't seem to care themselves - so why bother?

The two hour and forty minute movie was not an entire waste - I did learn that Tilda Swinton and Cate Blanchette are actually not the same person. I always thought it was Ms. Blanchette who played the White Witch in the recent Narnia movies. Something about the eyes, or the absence of eyelashes.

About an hour into the movie, when I realized that it would probably never rise to my expectations, I debated whether or not to turn it off. I kept watching because I felt I was invested. I do the same thing with books. Even if it's boring me to death, I generally finish it because I can't bear to quit. Not finishing something drives me bonkers.

Laying in bed later, I tried to think about the movie and how I would feel about aging backwards and how a life of relationships might be affected, but I was honestly so bored from watching Benjamin Button that I couldn't stand to linger on it anymore.

Does anyone else suffer from this frustrating inability to abandon movies or books once you've begun?

In Which I Potentially Offend 9 Out of 10 Readers

*This shall be an open discussion. I invite anyone on either side of the fence to state their views. also, I'm trying to spare feelings as best I can by discussing a certain behavior, not any certain persons.*

I was shopping at Winco a while back and I knew that I was facing a weekend with nothing to read and the library closed for a holiday, so I checked out what books they might have for me to buy. That's right, I said buy. As in purchase. Last time I did that - I don't even remember the last time I bought a book.

Aside from Danielle Steele, which isn't really my thing seeing as I get plenty turned on without having to read about other people doing it, the only thing they had that didn't involve religious stigmata, (also not my thing), was Twilight. I've read it before, of course, as have most females in America. It would be an easy read, finished quickly, just enough to get me through the weekend, so I bought it. But my feelings have not changed since I wrote this tidbit about freaks and are there really such things?

About a week after I finished reading Twilight, I saw a piece on an entertainment show late one night that reaffirmed my opinion that a huge portion of Twilight fans have taken their passion too far. There was a group of middle-aged women sitting on a couch, and they were telling an interviewer why they loved the series by Stephanie Meyer so much. One woman said, "It just makes you feel so...Happy!", and then she giggled like a 12 year-old. My thought was, "Her husband is a huge failure."

I could go off on a tangent right here about the possible reasons why more women are on anti-depressants in Utah than in any other state, but I shall refrain. Because I know a couple of people who are on them legitimately, as far as I know. I'm no doctor.

I understand the appeal of the book, to some extent. It is a good story. What I don't understand is public reaction to it. Everyone expects obsessive behavior from teenagers, but the Twilight series has become a major social fixation for women of more mature ages. Is it just the book? Is it the movie? Is it both? I've seen decals on people's car windows proclaiming love for Edward Cullen, I've seen women with teenage daughters of their own wearing t-shirts stating which team they are on; Edward or Jacob. I've heard of women who have vampire posters in their cubicles at work. And the list goes on... Is this type of feeling towards a book/movie healthy? Maybe there's nothing wrong with it?

When I was 16 or 17 I had a thing for Chris O'Donnell. I loved the Batman Forever movie so much that I talked my little brother into letting me have his Robin action figure, and I hung the plastic replica of my daydreams from the rear-view mirror in my Ford Aspire. He became a little soft and melty in the sun, but he spent a good three months in that sculpted pectoral shrine before he had shriveled like a metallic prune. So I'm not saying that I've never been a party to the behavior we're discussing, but I was much younger then. Currently, I do have a conceivably unhealthy affection for Willy Wonka . Both the wisdom of his imaginary person and his candy products. But for the most part, I keep it to myself and only think of it when I'm trying to decide between Nerds and Twizzlers at the grocery store.

For another example, the Harry Potter series also created a flurry of crazed fans...but it's not the same thing, I suppose. Is it because Harry Potter doesn't contain much romance? What exactly is the difference? Are there more examples of this kind of social phenomenon?

What I really want to know is this: Why is there so much hysteria over this book series? Yeah, it's an entertaining story, but what is the deal beyond that? Is it lust for the characters? Is it a secret wish that a reader could switch lives with the fictional heroine? An escape from real life that one is reluctant to leave? There are lots of amazing books out in the world, but I don't know of anyone so flustered and passionate about Shakespeare or Tolstoy pieces that it consumes a piece of their identity. I find myself perplexed by this behavior.

Theories? Thoughts?

Kasbah Grill and Terms of Endearment

One of my favorite things to do is try a new restaurant. It's fun to be somewhere new and experiment with different menu choices. This little game backfired on me twice earlier this year.

The first time was when Andrew and I tried an Italian restaurant in Salt Lake City for our anniversary. It was the sort of place where the waiters drape white linen towels over their arms and suggest a delicious wine to accompany what they deem to be excellent lunch choices. Despite our being in Salt Lake City for lunch, our waiter seemed overly surprised at our decline of that wine choice to compliment our entrees. I guess most of the Mormons kept to the Olive Garden down the street. At any rate, when our lunches were brought to us, I watched Andrew's eyes roll back in his head as he moaned his pleasure over his seafood alfredo. (In complete honesty, if there is seafood alfredo on any menu in any restaurant, Andrew will order that. Every time.) I, unfortunately, was left to saw and hack at my chicken marsala, which was so overdone and dry that my steak knife was an unworthy match for it. And now you're going to wonder why I didn't send it back. And I'm going to pretend that it was because we were running late to pick up the kids from school/babysitter's, which would be partially true. But the real reason I didn't send it back was because I do not want to be that woman who looks down her nose at any fare placed in front of her and finds something wrong with it. Because I know that the first time I do that, the sous chef in the back will spit a loogey into my dish and cloak it with a savory brown sauce. But if ever there was a dish that was worthy of rejection, that anniversary lunch of mine was it.

Later that same month was my birthday, and my sister-in-law, Susie, was in town and insisted that Andrew take me out to dinner. I was so exhausted from shopping and what-not that day, that all I wanted to do was go to bed. Alone. But how could we turn down her generous offer of free babysitting? So off we went to Mimi's Cafe. Again, we were experimenting with a new restaurant, and this one happened to boast a southern type fare. It took about 11 hours for the waitress to bring our food, and when it arrived, I realized that the delay had been caused by my chicken cordon bleu, which apparently could not be considered cooked thoroughly until it had been in the oven long enough to heat every ounce of moisture from it, leaving it a brick of dehydrated poultry with a cracked layer of brittle cheese in the middle. Again, I didn't send it back because I was desperate to go home and go to bed. And if I had requested a replacement, we would likely still be there waiting for it.

But last Saturday I got the chance to turn my bad luck around. My sister, Kellie, and I took my mom out for her long over-due birthday date. (She turned thirty-nine back in June...) Mom likes all kinds of ethnic foods, so we decided to take her to the Kasbah Grill in Layton. They specialize in Indian and Mediterranean food. We were glad to have Dad come along because he wasn't allowed out of mom's sight in case he started twitching or forgot how to walk or something. But he's good company, so no complaints. I don't remember what we all ordered, because none of us knew how to pronounce anything on the menu. I believe Dad pointed to his choice, (which made me feel better about my incompetency because as well traveled as he is, I shouldn't have to know how to pronounce anything that he can't.) I ordered the chicken saag. It looked something like this:
Except without rice. It smelled wonderful, and initially tasted like some kind of rose perfume, but after settling on my tongue, tasted absolutely delectable. And spicy! It really was a very good dish, but six bites into it I couldn't taste anything at all anymore. Such a pity. Mom's dish, whatever it was, was slightly better than mine, and Kellie ordered some kind of chicken that came in the form of three giant, red-hot chicken legs. They were good, too. But the winner of best menu choice went to Dad with his selection of some kind of sandwich deal which was wrapped in a pita, but not a pita because Indian people call it something else. (Lay off, I have a bad memory.) It had a wonderful, fresh cucumber taste which revived my taste buds after their saag saga.

When dinner was over, we hit a Blockbuster Video. The experience was a little odd because I haven't been inside a Blockbuster Video in at least eight years. They had a small selection. But they did have the movie we were looking for - Terms of Endearment. Kellie had never seen it before. Shocking, how she can be such a film connoisseur and at the same time, never have experienced the brilliance that is Shirley Maclaine and Jack Nicholson. That has to be one of the best movies of all time.

Even though I spent the next day enduring a mild case of diarrhea that my chicken saag had bestowed upon me, I consider my bad ordering streak to be a thing of the past. It tasted good going down. And maybe every dinner tastes good when it's followed with an 80's classic film and enjoyed with good company.